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Son wants me to build him a farm table. Most plans call for construction grade lumber. Most of that stuff is pine and I think too soft for a table top. Suggestions for an alternative would be appreciated.
fir would work

A lot of farm tables were made with soft woods as they were readily available 

Poplar, alder and pine were fairly popular back in the day  



Joe
It is not really about the wood it is about the design!!
Pine is fine

Construction grade though? Not in my house.
I agree on the construction grade lumber comments. When choosing your wood I'd also consider how you want the table to look and blend with the rest of the decor and household. You can build a farm style table with a very rustic look, more modern look, or a combination of the two. I built a "farm style" table last year and I used black walnut with breadboard ends for the top and a lightly distressed white base made from hard maple. It blends well with the rest of the house and furnishings. If I had a log cabin style home I would went a completely different direction with the wood choice.
I prefer rough sawn, sanded down enough that there are no splinters, but so that saw marks are still visible...I used full 1-1/8" cherry, black oak, white oak and walnut for each of 4 tables (boards were 12"-->18" wide for appearance)...sealed with multiple coats of satin PU, starting with 50% thinned up to 100%...wood was locally sourced from CL, paid around $1/sf...also used contrasting wood butterflies to halt any existing checking.
Not a fan of construction grade for exposed finish...
Reclaimed lumber makes a beautiful farm house table, pricey though.
SYP will work problem is construction lumber is quite wet.

Cypress is also a possibility especially if you can find heart wood in your area.
Locally Cypress (Monterey) is a favourite, and you can get away with some fairly "rustic" pieces if you are OK with using some epoxy in a few spots.

There are various types of pine, and some are harder than others. Buying wider boards should give you better quality wood, because ~12" wide boards need to come from larger, and more stable, logs. You can make a 2x4 out of a 6" log, but it wont be a very good one. Hence the quality of some construction grade wood. It meets the standards to hold a wall up, but that's about it.

You also have the "rustic" thing, where a few dents become part of the character. Last resort is the top is thick enough you can resurface it with a floor sander once the kids have grown up a bit.

If you buy larger size construction grade wood, let it dry properly. It may only be kiln dried to ~19%, which is enough to prevent decay and common bugs, but it's not "inside" dry. But a couple of months on stickers in an inside environment will fix that.