UPDATE:
So a while back I went on home adviser looking for a plumber. First guy who called me I had come by, turns out he's really a sewer/drain/cesspool guy, not a full on plumber who could fix venting etc, but I did say I think I need a snake in my post... He snaked down the washer drain and got nothing, but he also didn't charge me! Nice guy.
A few weeks go by, vacation, etc, and we get the name of a plumber from a contractor friend. He sounds like he can't be bothered on the phone, but he comes by a few days ago when my wife (teacher, off for the summer) is home. He says you need a snake... She says I think we did that, but OK. Got the name of the snake guy from plumber guy.
Snake guy comes and says it's probably a partial clog or a venting problem (No kidding?) and suggests we try stuff called "cessflow" before we spend money on a snaking out to the street. Soap/grease/etc can build up, and a snake can go right thru a pile of grease and not fully clean it out. It's $25 a gallon, pour one down the kitchen sink, one down the washer drain, let it work overnight. At this point I'm annoyed that nobody seems to care enough to help us out, but at least nobody charged us.
So the other day I go to the Depot by my office, they have ONE gallon, and I had to walk a half marathon to find it. So after my son's bed time I go to the Depot by my house and they have like a dozen bottles... It's a white, fairly nondescript, jug inside a clear plastic bag FYI. Says that is completely safe for the environment, biodegradable etc. No idea what it actually is, I assume enzymes etc. Also happens to be made locally. So Tuesday night we pour. Use water sparingly before bed, etc.
It wasn't the suggested full 12 hours before I had to get ready for work, but I rolled the dice and showered
You're welcome, America. My wife sent me a message around 10AM yesterday that she did laundry and NO GURGLING!!! No water coming out of the washer drain pipe either!! So it worked. My plumbing definitely IS undersized... only 1.5", but at least it seems to be vented properly. So $50 for pro drain cleaner is a lot cheaper than $200+ for a full snaking. Lesson learned.
Side note, I think I convinced my wife that hamburger grease should be allowed to cool and thrown in the trash