Psychological help needed

[Kansas City Fireslayer]

My experiences echo TDKPE’s. Family and neighbors wanting help with their properties when there’s always something needed around my own house. Not to mention our kids still being young enough that they want our attention.

I don’t mind giving advise, loaning out a ladder, or even making a few rip cuts on the TS. However, I have my own property to take care of and I’m not doing your work.....

I do have a couple of very select and talented friends that I will help but they will also do the same for me. We really don’t keep score but we also don’t take advantage of each other.

There have been times when I’ve helped “less talented” friends, working together, and ended up doing 80% of the work. I can sniff out those situations, before they happen, pretty easy anymore.

My wife, being the saint she is, typically doesn’t complain if I help one of my few “talented” friends. However, she gets bent when her family tries to go behind her back in hopes of getting me to work on their home projects. Mother in law is now pretty use to me telling her to talk to my wife.....and wife is pretty protective of my time. Thank goodness.

[redsas]

There have always been two main hobbies in my life: wood and guitar. And each of them I could sometimes throw for six months, or even more. But such situations were determined only by the circumstances in which I then found myself. When you graduate, or your wife gives birth to your first child, or when you are fired from your main job and you are trying to find something new, hobbies have to recede into the background. But I always came back to them. But if things are still the same with the guitar, then after the death of my father I haven't been able to pick up instruments for two years. He taught me everything I know. My psychologist from counsellinginmelbourne.com.au says I don't have to rush and will get back to business as soon as I feel ready. But my situation is not the same as described here. I know that someday I will feel the same joy from working with wood as I did a few years ago. Therefore, my tools will lie in the garage for as long as necessary.

[Tapper]

Thanks everyone. It's unanimous, I'm keeping my shop. I guess I've been on a self pity stretch. Talked it over with LOML also.

I don't need the money (even though selling the shop would only mean a small % of what I put into it) and the space, I had this home built in 1998 with shop (the un known call it a garage) designed to be a shop. Although it would be nice to be able to park my vehicles in a HVAC controlled garage. 

Jim

Glad you've decided to keep your shop intact. Some very wise and interesting comments and advice here. As usual, there are many thoughtful and insightful folks on these pages. I also see myself in some of these comments.

Home woodworking shops serve different purposes for different people. Some people focus on the project to be built and not necessarily the space it's built in or the tools used to do it. As a self-assessment, I'm probably a little of both. My space has to be comfortable and somewhere I enjoy spending time. Consequently I took an unfinished daylight basement area and finished it. It is the basement area of a new addition we did to our home several years ago. Installed drywall on all the vertical walls, finished and painted it, with the help of my electrician ran all the circuits necessary to handle all the equipment and more, installed a laminate floor to make it more comfortable on my feet, built a 15'+ bank of base cabinets with drawers for storage and additional countertop space in an alcove, and trimmed out the windows and doors myself. I have a TV down there and a laptop to be able to access the internet when working on or planning projects.

During this time I've also worked on some woodworking projects, along with restoring some old classic machinery. All these things bring me joy and I ALWAYS look forward to spending time in my shop. It is a special place to me and no matter what the mission at the time, it's a very comfortable area to be in. 

Right now I've changed directions somewhat and am assembling a machine shop area. At my age some would think this is pure lunacy but I'm very excited about it. My dad was a machinist by training and trade but we never had any machines in our small homes. Too expensive and not enough room. So I never got the training but I'm certain I did get the gene. Obviously I tend to have a lot of irons in the fire at one time. Also finishing a standalone garage on our property, another task I took on right in the middle of Covid. It's almost complete and I'm pleased with the results.

My woodworking tools and shop will be in place until I'm gone. I love building projects and working on things there when the urge moves me. For me it is definitely the journey and not the destination that is the most important thing. For we that are getting older, I believe reflection is important. This thread has been thought provoking. It's important to stay active both mentally and physically and shop time as well as the thought processes that support it keep the old synapses going, at least hopefully!

Best of luck,

Doug

Wow, just noticed this thread has some age on it! Guess I'm "tail-end Charlie" on this one.

[Halfathumb]

Update, since I originally posted this I've been doing some wwing. I even have a few furniture repairs and a making display case I'm getting paid to do. I don't mind doing work for someone else if they pay me to do it. I do appreciate everyone's comments, etc. Thanks. Everyone needs a mental boost every now and then. Keep making saw dust.

[brianwelch]

Glad to hear it...Sounds like you made a very good decision...

[TGW]

Very good to hear!

Here in Finland we had a whole generation of men with what people nowadays call PTSD. Then it was just called "been to war". Everybody knew what it was so it needed no further explanation. Pretty much every man born between the mid 1890-ies and 1925 had more or less of it.
That generation were very active hobby craftsmen. Most of them had something going on in a basement or shed somewhere. Many even set up proper workshops for themselves. Some worked wood and some worked metal and some rewound electric motors or repaired shoes or whatever. For family and friends and neighbours.
They said meaningful hands on activities helped them deal with the past and kept them from becoming depressed. Most of them could live very good lives.

Selling out would have been a step in the other direction. A step towards a depressed bundle in a couch.
You took a step away from that couch. Well done!

[Cian]

For the past few months I've been considering unloading my shop. With all of the other things going on in my life I hardly get to do anything I WANT to do in the shop. It's always something for someone else. 

This happened to me in a few years back.  I had a couple back-to-back projects for other folks. Specifically friends whom I wasn't charging anything.  This was during a time where I was overworked and just not satisfied with my career, so I wasn't getting any of my usual enjoyment and decompression from my woodshop.  

After realizing this, I kicked those friends off the island, err, my woodshop. I now only pursue projects for others if I will personally enjoy the process.  There are certainly names I keep on my mental list who can always drop by or I will make shop time for of course, but that is mainly because I enjoy their company and just falls into the enjoyment aspect.  But nowadays, any shoptime is mainly for me.

[Cian]

I have gone through many cycles of interest/disinterest, enthusiasm/boredom and some lengthy periods of complete inactivity...

The interest and excitement is still there, even if it is dormant for long periods. It percolates to the surface; I get involved again and the sense of accomplishment, fulfillment and excitement return...

I know when I get bored with it, it will return. I keep my tools and my workshop for those times. I'm glad to have them. They have brought me a lot of pleasure and satisfaction and they will continue to do so.   

My $.02. I hope you keep your tools.

I suspect all of us have went through this at some time or other, maybe several times. For me I have about 3 hobbies that present me with that sentiment from time to time. But I haven't sold anything related to them, and find I almost always come back to enjoying whatever hobby it is at the time.

I have no problem letting my tools sit while I find motivation, time, energy, passion, etc. I can't imagine not having somewhere to escape and "dink around" when I want to escape the other crap life throws at all of us....

Lastly, if I sold everything and later wanted to jump back in, there is no way I could afford to replace all my tools down the road with how machinery prices have skyrocketed.

My shop goes unused for long periods, sometimes a year or two other than some quick fixes, but sooner or later I get the bug again and start making things again...

Repeating the above sentiments and I'm sure I overlooked a few more.

I have been in and out of this hobby every few years or so.  I was bicycling quite a bit a couple years, and then I discovered shooting and reloading, and there's always work and family as well, and let's not forget about golf.  I used to call my woodworking hobby as seasonal, but realistically it may be a once per year or even every other year or so hobby in my 40s and 50s. LOL.  

However, nothing beats the feeling of walking into my woodshop and seeing everything as I left it last and knowing it is all ready to go back to work.  A lot of it is because my shop is the one clear reward and sign of my personal successes.  All the struggles I had to overcome, whether it was health related, certainly financial, and also all the sweat equity required to  get it to the state it is today I am reminded of every time I walk in there.   There have been several weeks if not months when I won't step into the shop, but ultimately, my shop is a natural dopamine release trigger for me every time I come back.  It just makes me smile.  

Cut out the things which hamper or negatively affect your hobby, and you'll likely fall in love with it again. My 2 pence.