Heirlooms: Treasure or Nightmare?

[hbmcc]

The question is: are your heirlooms treasure, or junk, to your heirs?

I build heirlooms. My tools are heirlooms. I struggle to anticipate and design heirlooms that fit into a future that will be unlike today. I plan for future generations of users. And, then, at a huge personal cost in money and time, and mostly emotional loss, we unloaded a basement recreation room/warehouse of nearly three-quarters its contents of ... heirlooms. Fifty years of accumulation were donated to a local charitable thrift. 

Our son who had no interest in our collection(s) actually released about 25 cases of paperbacks and hardcovers, his lifetime collection of books, as part of the family purge. The county library was ecstatic over the donation, seeing nearly 700 books at a buck each for their "Friends of the Library" sales. 

I struggle to justify keeping financial records of my first checking account, our children's baby bills. My parents wartime love letters, my favorite pastoral landscape watercolor by Grandpa that forever influenced my own artwork; these must be saved or our heritage is lost. Or, is any of this important to our son, his family, if he has one? How do I make my treasure his also?

[CLETUS]

I struggle to justify keeping financial records of my first checking account, our children's baby bills. My parents wartime love letters, my favorite pastoral landscape watercolor by Grandpa that forever influenced my own artwork; these must be saved or our heritage is lost. Or, is any of this important to our son, his family, if he has one? How do I make my treasure his also?

You need to have a conversation. I've been working on instilling those values into my son since he was little. I have the 100+ year old grandfather clock, I have my great grandfathers tools, including the trunk they were shipped in from the old country in 1886, WW2 and earlier firearms, photos, etc. However, the most important are the two remaining family farms where my grandmother and grandfather were born. My kids are the only ones in the upcoming generation. I have to instill the value of appreciating your past.

He need to appreciate it, you can't force him to love your treasure.

[ZachDillinger]

The question is: are your heirlooms treasure, or junk, to your heirs?

I build heirlooms. My tools are heirlooms. I struggle to anticipate and design heirlooms that fit into a future that will be unlike today. I plan for future generations of users. And, then, at a huge personal cost in money and time, and mostly emotional loss, we unloaded a basement recreation room/warehouse of nearly three-quarters its contents of ... heirlooms. Fifty years of accumulation were donated to a local charitable thrift. 

Our son who had no interest in our collection(s) actually released about 25 cases of paperbacks and hardcovers, his lifetime collection of books, as part of the family purge. The county library was ecstatic over the donation, seeing nearly 700 books at a buck each for their "Friends of the Library" sales. 

I struggle to justify keeping financial records of my first checking account, our children's baby bills. My parents wartime love letters, my favorite pastoral landscape watercolor by Grandpa that forever influenced my own artwork; these must be saved or our heritage is lost. Or, is any of this important to our son, his family, if he has one? How do I make my treasure his also?

As a certified personal property appraiser (cars, fine art, furniture, watches, and of course tools), I run into this quite often. Older folks have all of these great things and their kids / grandkids don't want the stuff. I think it comes down to instilling a sense of foundation, of belonging, of tradition in those younger folks. They need to understand the material culture of those who came before them and why it is important to preserve it. A lot of this comes back to the fact that, while you know the stories to every piece, they don't and when you're gone the stories are lost. Take the time to write them down now and attach them to the objects. It's a whole lot harder to throw away something if you know that the thing was once part of a very meager collection of things with which your great-grandfather started his new American life. Otherwise its just an old table, book, or painting that can easily be replaced if necessary.

That said, you have to be selective. The fact is that homes are getting smaller and smaller due to economic pressures, tastes are changing, and people move more frequently.The rule of thumb is that, on average, half of all Americans will move every five years. That's a lot of boxes of stuff to move and to preserve. If it were me, old financial records wouldn't be in the same discussion with family artwork or love letters or the like. For this kind of stuff, maybe a digital option, scanning and storing, will be possible. 

Life is changing and the pace of change is accelerating. The cultures of the past are now easily accessible online and don't always have to take up physical space in a shrinking home. The only thing that makes an heirloom special is the story. Pick the things that matter most, document them, make sure the kids know the stories, and you will have done all you can do.

[EdL]

I've noticed it with LOML's daughters.....they could care less about anything owned by a dead relative ...or one thats still alive for that matter.

Ed

[Hank Knight]

I've been struggling with this issue for 10 years or more. We have a house full of nice furniture we've collected over our 50+ years of marriage, many antiques and some pieces I've built. Most of the rest is high quality stuff we saved to buy. My only child and her family are perfectly content with Ikea. (Shrug). I inherited a 1950s Rolex watch from my father. I remember when he bought it. It is a model 5508 - called the James Bond Rolex and very valuable to collectors. It's no longer in Rolex's "current inventory," so it has become expensive to maintain and service. I had it appraised and asked my kids if they were interested in it. No, neither of them wear a watch and they had no sentimental attachment to it. I sold it two weeks ago. My son in law is a "get a bigger hammer" kind of guy. The nuances of fine woodworking are lost on him. I agonized for years over what would happen to my tools - my passion - after I'm gone. The thought of someone opening a can of paint with one of my hand forged Japanese slicks is almost physically painful to me. I've finally come to grips with the fact that I can't pass on values that are lost on my children. These things are just that - things, personal property, inanimate objects. It's pointless to attach too much emotion and sentiment to them. It's OK for me to enjoy them, but I can't expect others to have the same reverence for them that I have. If they do, great. If they don't, it doesn't matter. None of this will matter when I'm gone.

[5thumbs]

Interesting thread.....

I, too, have children that have little or no interest in woodworking or tools - even ones used by their great grandfather as a finish carpenter in the mansions of Philly after WWI.

Rather than having my wife deal with some "collector" who will scoop them up for a song, I'm looking to find a young local woodworker, just starting out, who would appreciate receiving some of my better tools. At least. I'll know they are being used as intended.

The thought of a vintage Stanley being used as a paperweight in some office gives me the chills.....

[KC]

My daughter painted a mahogany chest I'd made 30 some years ago.  It was the first or second thing 'quality' piece I'd built, so special to me.  Once I got over being mortified, I realized it looked good black, and fit just right in her house.  It may mean something to her now.

My mother was a romantic.  Poet/writer and had the artist 'gift from her father.  She kept a LOT writings, and kid's school stuff.  I'd call her a 'semi' hoarder.   She passed in 1992.  My sisters went through it all eventually, and at some point a few years back gave me the 'binder' with stuff about me in it.  Lots of little mementos that meant nothing to me... but also a series of simple water color works on heavy paper of me as a baby, with her handwritten notes of what 'moved' her to capture the scene.  I kept and framed one of them... a 4 month old me napping in the rays of sunshine through the window.  This means a lot more to me now than it would have if I'd found it right away when she died.

[JSpill]

What will happen to my tools when I'm gone? Like many, I don't want them sold at a garage sale or flea market. I decided to make a tool chest (plans from Fine Woodworking) to hold the tools I treasure the most. The chest will contain heirloom tools as well as tools I bought at flea markets. Of course it will be loaded with Veritas tools. I told my son to keep this tool box in the family. Even if he never uses these tools perhaps his son or daughter will.

[jgourlay]

The question is: are your heirlooms treasure, or junk, to your heirs?

---------------------------


I kept my parent's art collection.  I have far more Navajo pottery and paintings (and...and) that I have wall or cabinet space.  And that 'too much' is after me tearfully letting go of 2/3 of my father's library of books.  But I hope to pass much of it on while converting some to college fund.

I also build few pieces but try hard to make them heirloom quality.  My mother in law believes the *ONLY* heirloom of any value at all is that cash money.  She was giving me the business yesterday about the care = time = "not making money" I was putting into drawers bottoms.  I told her I wanted this thing to last for hundreds of years.  She put me in my place: "sure.. And like me, when you have to move to the nursing home, you'll end up giving that to goodwill".  Ouch....

[BrokenOlMarine]

Heirlooms...

I have made several pedestal cradles over the years as each of the kids prepared to deliver their first child.

I made flag/medal presentation boxes for vets or their families.
These things I would hope would remain in the family.

We have already passed down some antique furniture, several generations old, but still in excellent condition and useable. (In addition, fairly valuable.)  We also passed the china, silver, crystal, and glassware.  No hesitation there either. 

The collecting... case by case I guess.